"Life isn't going to wait." That was way back last November, and both my brothers, Bobby and Joe, have been encouraging me ever since. It's been a fine day here in Central Texas. Ciao, y'all ...
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Closer and closer to summer vacation. I can smell it. Smells sweet ...
I remember when school let out for summer my first year as a teacher. I wasn't sure what to do. The most vacation I'd ever had before was three weeks, and I never took that all at one time. All summer long that year, it felt like I should be going to work. I kind of wondered if I should, in fact, be going to work or doing something. Fretting about it and feeling uncomfortable kept me from really enjoying a lot of the time off. The second year, though, I was ready. The last day of school is a great day, for everyone. I remember two or three years ago, after we escorted our students out of the building so they wouldn't trash the hallways or do anything else ridiculous, and it was all empty and quiet. It was amazing, as I stood there and literally felt the stress evaporating. I could actually feel the tension leaving my body. Last year, I vowed to dance in the halls on the last day of school. And I did. Since I started my "30 days of positive" project, I've honestly been having pretty darn good days at school. It's a little tough to remember everything from back in the day, but I swear we did not run wild in school, the way they do now. There was some pretty crazy stuff, like the bathroom across from the gym where everybody went between classes to smoke cigarettes. It was jammed with boys and thick with smoke. Teachers had to have known about it; it was always more of a smoking lounge than a bathroom. But when we did get out of line back then, and got caught, there were consequences. Maybe the consequences had little to no effect, but at least we learned that there are consequences in life for doing wrong. When I was a senior in high school, I was tardy to first period pretty much every day. My teacher, Mr. Watts, told me that he would either send me to the office every time I was late, or I could take a swat from him. He wasn't mad at me, and I knew he wasn't mad at me. He was just giving me a choice. I chose swats. So nearly every morning, I walked in late, and we walked back out together, just down the hallway to the stairwell, where I bent over and touched the steps, and he walloped me with a wooden paddle. One swat that echoed up and down the empty hallway. Then I went back to class, trying to act nonchalant while my butt was on fire. Did it deter me from being tardy? Obviously not, because I was tardy all year long. But I guarantee you it deterred some other kid from being tardy. Because there would be a consequence -- and it involved pain. Oh yeah, it definitely hurt like hell. And to me, there's not a thing in the world wrong with a little pain in a kid's life, and a little healthy fear. That's why I behaved when I was a kid. I was afraid of my old man. He could inflict some serious pain on the buttocks. A leather belt across the backside stings pretty good. And we kids who were "abused" like that by our parents survived. Somehow, we survived getting spanked. My mother slapped me right in the mouth, one time, hard. It really wasn't that big a deal, because I knew I deserved it. I was standing with her as she talked to a friend at the baseball fields where we played ball, and her friends's little daughter came running by. I don't know why I did it, but I stuck my foot out and tripped her. On an asphalt parking lot. Boom! Right in the mouth. Today, mama might be arrested. Ah, the good ol' days ... Oh, yeah, for all you local people, check out a copy tomorrow of the new Cove Banner newspaper. My friend, Larry, is resurrecting the newspaper that dates back to 1900, and I'll be writing a weekly column for it. The first edition is due out Friday. Look for it at area convenience stores. Ciao, y'all ... "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it'll always get you the right ones."
That is a quote I came across today from the late, great John Lennon. One of my true heroes. My first hero was probably New York Jets quarterback Joe Namath. I honestly don't remember watching Super Bowl III, which helped solidify his status as a legend among NFL legends, but I'm sure I did. I've seen every Super Bowl since the first one (Kansas City versus Green Bay), so I had to have watched that one, too. Namath was great, and the absolute ultimate in cool. I even got a pair of white football shoes when I was 14 years old, playing quarterback at Oaks Dads Club in Houston. We had a really good team, the Panthers, but we could have been even better if our quarterback had been a leader, instead of an arrogant ass. I remember getting tossed from one game by a referee, who pretty much dragged me to the sidelines, but I don't remember the reason. Another time, my own coach took me out after I grabbed my center's facemask and shook it, as I chewed him out for something. Told you I was an ass. And my attitude never got any better. By the next year, I had quit playing sports altogether. This was the first major mistake of my life. All of a sudden, I had no identity. I didn't have a clue who I was, or what to do anymore. Sports had always been my life. Baseball, football, basketball. Eventually, I found somewhere else to "fit in," and it wasn't with the right crowd of kids. I sort of foundered after that for awhile, for some years. I thought I was having fun, but what I was really doing was wasting a whole lot of talent and potential. It took awhile, but I finally got things together, although I'm still trying to figure out who I am exactly, and where I fit in. Too often, I feel like that kid looking out the window, wanting to join in the fun but not sure exactly how to do it. Lately, though, I think I'm finding my identity -- John, the writer. I like that one, and I think it fits OK. After I get another book or two out there, maybe I'll call myself an author. I'm not sure one book really makes you an author. A one-hit wonder, maybe. And, like Lennon said, I don't have a whole lot of true friends -- probably have more than I realize -- but I have some really good ones. Maybe that's because I'm a pretty honest guy. Too honest sometimes, probably. I'm not sure I'm always honest with myself, but I know that I'm pretty darn honest in my writing. It's the only way I know how to do it. My heroes now include just about anybody who is truly happy, with themselves and their life. Those people have it all figured out -- the important stuff, anyway. I'm workin' on it, and I'm gettin' there, slowly but surely. The thing about it is, life is a journey, not a destination. So the way I see it is, if I'm doing it right by the time I get to the end, then I win. Another day of the "30 days of positive" project nearly completed, and I haven't blown it yet. Ciao, y'all ... Day Six of the "30 days of positive" project, and it's been a good one.
The day started with my daily affirmations and little prayer, then it was off to the dentist for another round of major work. Unfortunately, I had to take the whole day off due to the dental appointment, but I'm trying to not get too down about missing the little tykes. Anyway, the dentist went well, although I'm in a little discomfort now, with the novocaine wearing off. He had to give me four shots before I was numb enough to be brutalized, but things went pretty quickly after that. I wish I had all the money I've spent on dental work over the past 20 years. I'm sure I could pay cash for a new car. A nice one. Unfortunately, my parents weren't very vigilant about oral hygiene with us kids. And I was a candy freak. Pretty much any time I got some money, that's what I spent it on. Loved the stuff. Still do, really. Hot Tamales, cherry sours, chocolate bar with caramel. I could go on and on, not to mention pastries, cake, pie, ice cream. Good grief ... A number of years ago at a dental checkup, the guy said I didn't have any cavities. I was happy, of course, and expressed my pleasure at hearing the good news. "Don't get too excited," he said. "There's not much room in there for cavities any more." Needless to say, the vast majority of my teeth are filled, root-canaled, crowned or replaced. Meanwhile, I also got my daily exercise in today, without going to the gym. Finished my mowing from Saturday, and although walking behind a self-propelled mower is not exactly grueling work, I'm counting it as exercise. Don't judge. I nearly broke a sweat. After that, my darlin' daughter took me to drop the pickup back off at the shop. I'm pretty sure it's a minor deal. Somebody forgot to tighten a water hose clamp or something. After that, I sat down and checked my messages, and my friend, Larry, who is opening a new weekly newspaper in a nearby town, asked me to write a story about he and his wife -- an introductory sort of thing -- for the first edition, which comes out Friday. And he interviewed me for a story he is going to write about me joining his staff as a columnist. Then, there's my first column that will also run Friday. Pretty dang cool! So, it's been a really good day. Ciao, y'all ... Well, as predicted, I shot 78 during my weekly round of golf with my buddy, Gator. Unfortunately, there were three holes left to play when I arrived at that number. So, my 18-hole total was disappointing -- again -- but, c'mon, a bad day on the golf course is ... well, there's really no such thing as a bad day on the golf course ... Gator beat me by three shots. We both kind of cratered on the back nine. As Gator likes to say, "Folded like a cheap tent." The collapse actually began when we both bogeyed no. 8 and no. 9. I've known Gator for a few years now. Met him at the golf course. He's quite a character, originally from south Florida, where he worked for a long time as an animal trapper. He really never did a lot of alligator hunting, but he got the cool nickname, anyway. He likes it. Also known as David, he is two weeks away from his 61st birthday, stands about 6-3, 220 pounds or so, long gray ponytail down his back, bald as an eagle on top. And deaf as a damn post. I think deaf in one ear. Either way, trying to hold a conversation with him sometimes is a comedy. He loves golf, like I do. We're always within a few shots of each other, so it makes for some good friendly competitions. This is Day Five of my 30 days of positive project, and it's going pretty well. I stayed up too late last night, after an extremely productive day, and had to get up early to go to the golf course, so I'm a little tired. Mostly laying on the couch all afternoon. And not much else to talk about today, really. Busy week ahead, with another book to proof for Archangel Ink, a story to write for The Cove Banner, and planning promotions for the book. And then there's school to teach, exercising to do, taking the truck back to the shop, finishing the yard work, keeping the blog going, working on my Camino book. Other than that ... More later. Ciao, y'all ... My brother, Bobby, sent a text message early this morning (apparently from his beach house on Galveston Island, as the message was accompanied by a photo of a beach sunrise) to say he was thinking of me. He called me brother. Bobby is not really my brother, not by blood, anyway. But we are as close or closer than brothers. I've known him since first grade. I love him and he loves me, and neither one of us is afraid to say that to the other. It's pretty cool. So I go into the kitchen and make a nice cup of coffee, sit down and check my e-mail, and I have a couple of messages from my publisher at Archangel Ink, asking me to rewrite my author bio for the new paperback that is coming out soon, and to send him a photo and another little bio so he can add me to their website's Who-We-Are staff listings, where I'll be added as a proofreader extraordinaire. OK, probably just as a proofreader. Still, very cool. I just finished proofreading my second book for them, with a third already in hand and ready for me to give a final once-over. They tell me they're excited about the prospects for my redesigned and reissued, "Finding God in Texas." When I saw the cover they designed, I was excited right away, and knew good things are in store. Click here to check it out, please and thank you: I worked on those two things for awhile, got them finished, then went out and mowed most of my lawn. We've got probably close to three-quarters of an acre to mow, and I'm not nearly as enthusiastic about yard work as I used to be. There was a time when I was out in the yard constantly. Now, it's kinda hit-and-miss. I've still got about 20 minutes of mowing left for tomorrow, AFTER I get home from golf. When the mowing was done, I cleaned up a little, did some laundry, then went back out front and noticed a big puddle of something underneath my pickup. Just two days ago, I retrieved my 2002 F-150 from the shop, where it underwent $1,456 worth of repairs. I suspect the puddle may be related to something not quite right with that work, but it's really hard to tell. I'll find out Monday, I imagine, after I take it back. Then, after a nice chat on the phone with the missus, who is out of town on business, I did some grocery shopping and here I am, tidying up my project list, which includes writing every day. I don't think I ever said my prayer today, "God, please help me focus on a positive attitude." I guess I missed that one, which is mostly needed during the week, when I face a few hundred highly undisciplined and untrained 11- and 12-year-olds, along with a very hard-to-figure-out set of school administrators. Staying positive on the weekends is a piece of cake, by comparison. I did say my affirmation, and I remained positive throughout the day, even when I found the puddle of something underneath my newly repaired truck. I haven't had any real negative thoughts. I didn't play my guitar today, and I probably won't. And the one thing that I still haven't fit into my day so far is meditation. I really need to include that. I believe that meditation can make a difference. I've been told as much, and I think it's true. Tomorrow, I plan to shoot 78 on the golf course. I just hope that's my score after 18 holes, and not after 16. Ciao, y'all ... When the alarm sounded shortly after 4 this morning, one of the little voices in my head said, "Aw, you don't need to get up. You can mow the grass when you get home today and count that as your daily exercise." The other little voice, which is normally a little scared to speak up, said, "Just get your butt up."
Yes, I hear voices. One of 'em is bad; one of 'em is good. Everybody hears voices, don't they? Man, I hope so ... So I listened to Mr. Good Voice, and got my butt out of bed, drank some coffee, checked my e-mail and got ready to head off to the gym for another 5 a.m. workout. I forgot about telling myself, "Today is going to be a great day," until I was tying my shoes, so I did it then, once or twice. Said my little prayer, "God, thank you and please help me focus on a positive attitude," as I was sitting on an exercise bench, resting between sets of dumbbell curls. This morning at school, I tried the smiling thing again, and it actually felt pretty good. My face doesn't stay that way for very long, but I think it does indeed make you feel good inside when there's a smile on your face. And I was Mr. Patience as I monitored one of my morning classes working on a project. To keep these guys and gals focused and behaving for an entire hour is not easy. I almost shut it down after about 40 minutes, but I took a deep breath and held on. They did OK. Haven't uttered any negative comments that I can think of, and haven't dwelt on any negative thoughts, so I'm going to judge Day Three of my "30 days of positive" project another big success. So far, so good. But wait ... BIG NEWS ... I just found out that the e-book version of my newly-redesigned and reissued book, "Finding God in Texas," is now listed on amazon. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/Finding-God-Texas-John-Clark-ebook/dp/B00JXP7448/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1398454992&sr=8-2&keywords=finding+god+in+texas Please be so kind as to check it out. My new publisher will be ever so happy. And after you read it, please post a nice review. Thanks in advance, and the new paperback version is on its way, as well! Ciao, y'all ... Progress concerning my two-day-old "30 days of positive" project was kicked off the front page by much more exciting news. Today, I signed my first official book publishing contract, and the redesigned, reissued version of "Finding God in Texas" will soon make its debut in e-book and paperback form.
Pretty damn exciting. For me, anyway. But, back to the project. Day two has been another success. I started off first thing this morning by saying, "Today is going to be a great day," four or five times as I washed my face and brushed my teeth and did all that good stuff, shortly after 4 a.m., as I got ready to go to the gym for a workout. I also said my prayer, "God, thank you for everything, and please help me focus on a positive attitude today." Said that one three times. Funny thing ... my close friend and brother, Bobby, told me a long time ago that he says that affirmation about it being a great day as soon as he wakes up every morning. He suggested I try it, as well, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Sort of like I find it pretty much impossible to look at myself in the mirror and say that I love myself. Just kind of weird, and not sure I really believe it, anyway. But this morning, when I said those words over and over, I actually kind of started to believe it might be true. Today is going to be a great day. I think I'll try that again tomorrow! So I did my affirmation, said my little prayer, got my dose of daily exercise, haven't uttered any negative comments or really thought any negative thoughts, all day long. I'm writing now, so writing every day is covered, as well. All that's left on the list, I think, is playing the guitar, practicing the saxophone, and doing a little meditation. Heck, I might be able to do this ... Ciao, y'all ... Well, Day One of my "30 days of positive" project will have to go down as a success. I smiled a little bit more often today. It takes concentration and feels strange to replace my usual scowl with a smile, but I did it for a little while. I started to let something negative slip early this morning, talking to a couple of fellow teachers, but caught myself and shut it down. I didn't rip the heads off any kids today (figuratively speaking, of course), and I went to the golf course after work and hit a small bucket of range balls, so I'll count that as exercise for the day. Tomorrow, I'll actually get up (at 4:15 a.m.) and be at the gym by around 5, for a round of treadmill walking and some resistance training (lifting weights). After dinner here in a few minutes, I'll pick up my guitar for the first time in a long time and play for awhile. There are no callouses on my left-hand fingertips any more, so it's gonna hurt pretty quickly. Gonna have to work up to some decent practice time. Then, I'll take a crack again at my pretty new saxophone. I've always wanted to play saxophone, so I finally decided to go ahead and get one a few months ago. Started practicing, then got a nasty chest cold that lasted forever and couldn't breathe so good. I'm writing right now, and I'll probably work a little later on a couple of books I'm editing for my publisher. Not only are they redesigning and reissuing my book, "Finding God in Texas," in paperback and e-book, but I'm also doing some online proofreading for 'em. I'm great at spotting typos and other errors, and I love doing it. And they're paying me for it! That's pretty much everything on the list for my new project, except saying, "Today is going to be a great day," first thing in the morning. My close friend (brother), Bobby, swears he does this every day, as soon as he wakes up. So I will do it, too. I did not do it first thing this morning, but I remembered to say it later on. Another thing Bobby has told me to do is to say this, "God, please help me focus on a positive attitude." Not, give me a positive attitude, but help me focus on a positive attitude. I don't think I squeezed that one in today. But I was in a pretty darn good mood today, and I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'm writing a weekly column for a friend's new newspaper in a nearby town, and part of my daily writing time will be spent finishing my book about me and the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage in northern Spain, which I have walked twice. Also, an artist friend is working on illustrations for a cool, little children's book I wrote, so there are some exciting things going on. Not to mention the fact that the end of the school year is quickly coming into focus. That sho' nuff gonna be a beautiful day. Plans for the summer include a solo trip to Key West, to eat, drink and be merry for about a week. A little snorkeling, maybe some deep-sea fishing, lots of fresh seafood consumption. Some other stuff on tap, as well. Hopefully, some book signings! Y'all gotsa come. Ciao, y'all ... |