Painting ©2018 John Clark III
I am reading a really good book right now about co-dependency.
I never knew before that I am incredibly co-dependent. But it explains a whole lot of stuff.
One of the many things this book talks about is "acceptance." Accepting reality. Which is something I've always had trouble with. I always want things to be the way I want them to be, instead of accepting the way they actually are.
Last summer, for example, I turned 60 years old, and I've had a pretty hard time accepting it. Understanding it. Dealing with it.
Like so many others say: What the hell happened? Where did the time go?
I want to back up some and try again. I really do.
It is truly difficult for me to believe that I am 60 years old.
I don't feel old -- most of the time.
I don't look old, although my hair is really gray, and I'm 30 pounds overweight. But 60 is fucking old, man (excuse my language, please). In nine-and-a-half more years, I'll be 70!
My days are getting truly numbered, and the numbers are growing smaller and smaller ...
I have a very active imagination -- curse of a creative mind? -- and I project a lot of times into the future, imagining myself being gone from this Earth. The idea is really sad to me.
I don't wanna go.
I like it here -- it's a nice place, in spite of all the bad stuff.
A few reviews of John's books
The 30-Day Optimism Solution:
“Part memoir, part informative text. You get both when reading 'Depression Blues' by John H. Clark III. Mr. Clark shares his struggles with depression in an honest and real way, and as the book progresses, so does his hope. Woven into the story as jumping off points are bits of information about depression and ways to "conquer" the sadness, loneliness, and despair that comes with it.
Mr. Clark becomes more than an author in this book; he becomes a friend who understands the pain of depression and provides light. I recommend this book to anyone looking for light or to anyone who knows someone with depression and wants to learn more.”
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